The ancient Chinese art of feng shui is all about creating a home environment that manifests balance, increased wealth, and better relationships — you know, all the good stuff.
Feng shui is based on the idea that our personal spaces, especially our home, are a mirror of our internal state. (Ever noticed that when you’re stressed or feeling out of whack, your bedroom is littered with dirty laundry, or your work desk looks like a tornado hit it?) Rethinking your space can help align your external environment with who you are and who you want to be, thus harmonizing your internal energy with your home’s energy. This, in turn, is said to help you manifest your desired outcomes and intentions.
Whether you’re single or in a relationship, making a few feng shui-inspired tweaks to your bedroom might even positively impact your sex life, too. “When your human temple doesn’t like your physical temple, that does affect your sex life,” says Heather Askinosie, a crystal and feng shui expert, co-founder of Energy Muse, and author of Crystal Muse: Everyday Rituals to Tune into the Real You. “You don’t feel positive or confident, and your mind tends to overanalyze everything, taking you out of the moment. It’s all interconnected and intertwined.”
We sat down with Heather and got her top five tips for incorporating feng shui into your bedroom for improved sex and intimacy.
Create a sex space, whatever that means for you
“Create a space that evokes an energy and feeling that you want to carry into your sex life,” says Heather. “Ask yourself, ‘How can I shift my space so that I feel more sexy?’” For some people, this may mean removing their patterned wallpaper and painting the walls with a lush hue. For others, it might mean bringing certain items — like a scented candle, favorite body lotion, plush blanket, or fresh flowers — into the bedroom.
But it’s just as much about what you choose to leave outside the bedroom as what you bring inside it. Do you leave your laptop next to your bed each night or keep your running shoes right by the door? “Don’t bring things [from] your work or fitness regime into your bedroom,” she says. “You want your room to feel like Aphrodite’s love chamber.” After all, your laptop with your company’s logo on the back may stir up feelings stress instead of lust.
Rethink artwork and photos
While that solo pic of you on vacation highlights your independence and confidence, it may not be helping your sex life. (Of course, taking things into your own hands with masturbation is always a great option, but it’s nice to invite others into bedroom, too.) “If you’re looking to enhance love and passion in the bedroom, make sure that you remove any images of single subjects,” says Heather. “Aim to have two subjects within the artwork or photos, unless it’s of you and your partner.” This sends the message that while the bedroom is a sacred space for you, it’s also a place for you to experience intimacy with others. As Heather mentions in this article, placing items like crystals, books, or plants, in pairs throughout the room is also a way to manifest connection with another person. When it comes to feng shui and love, two is apparently better than one.
Rearrange the position of your bed
“Move your bed to a place in the bedroom where it can be entered from both sides,” says Heather. “If your bed is flush against a wall and can only be entered from one side, it symbolizes not making room for someone to enter or remain in your life.”
Of quartz, don’t forget crystals
Heather suggests placing crystals, like rose quartz to enhance love or garnet to manifest passion, in your bedroom, perhaps on your nightstand or on the floor by the bed. “When you first purchase the crystals or place them, don’t forget to set your intention so they can work with you to create the energy you want in your bedroom.”
That being said, be careful you don’t turn your bedroom into a geology exhibit. “if you have too many crystals in your bedroom, the space can begin to feel heavy,” Heather warns. “Bring in a few at a time and see how it feels.”
It’s important to create a love chamber and a sleep chamber
We’re all about getting it on, but we’re also all about getting plenty of zzz’s. How can your bedroom facilitate these two activities that tend to have different energies?
According to Heather, focusing on incorporating self-love into your space — perhaps a favorite color or texture that makes you feel sexy (satin pillowcase, anyone?) — can help you achieve great sex and sleep. “You want to feel an overwhelming energy of love when you walk into your bedroom, whether it’s in regards to self-love or your sex life,” she says. “It’s important to experience self-love when you fall asleep each night. It’s is also critical for a healthy sex life.”
Even if you’re a diehard feng shui believer or still a little skeptical, why not do some redecorating and rearranging this evening? Worst case scenario: nothing happens. Best case scenario? You’ll get some exercise moving your bed, and who knows, maybe you’ll feel an overwhelming sense of self-love or get inspired to add some spice between the sheets.