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I’m 64, widowed, and haven’t had sex in three years. I had a hysterectomy 20 years ago. I’m recently in a relationship and want to have sex again. Anything I need to do to prepare for sex?

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I’m 64, widowed haven’t had sex in 3 years. Had a hysterectomy 20 years ago. Recently in a relationship and want to have sex again. Anything I need to do to prepare for sex?

I think it is great that you want to reinitiate intimacy again!  It is quite normal to feel a bit anxious about jumping back on the wagon.  The most important thing is ensure you feel comfortable, and that you and your partner are on the same page. This may include speaking to your partner openly about any concerns and fears you may have.  Since you have had a hysterectomy, and are postmenopausal, you may experience increased dryness during intercourse, decreased libido, increased time to orgasm, and less intense orgasms.  With this in mind, it may be helpful to take the focus off intercourse, and focus on the acts that are still sexually pleasurable.  This may include sensual massage, genital touching, use of toys, or watching erotica.  It may also be helpful to have a good lubricant on hand in case you need it.  You can also visit your doctor to get a routine check in order to ensure that you have a clean bill of health, or visit a sex therapist if you need more individual help sorting through feelings of sex, medical conditions and how that impacts your sex life. Apart from that, just to relax, and maintain a sense of openness and positivity! 

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