You’ve heard it time and time again: women are basically experts in faking it — the “it,” of course, being an orgasm. It’s portrayed as comedy on the silver screen and it’s discussed amongst girlfriends. In fact, it’s become such common knowledge that men’s magazines are chock full of tips on how to detect whether or not their sexual partners actually came.

And no, men aren’t just irrationally skeptical — there are serious statistics that prove more women moan and scream in deceit than not. In a 2011 study led by Dr. Gayle Brewer of the University of Central Lancashire and Dr. Colin A. Hendrie of the University of Leeds, 71 women between the ages of 18 and 48 were polled on their big finish. After a series of questions, results proved that a whopping 80% of them had faked orgasms during vaginal intercourse and 25 percent said they fake it 90% of the time. Another study found that 68% of women admitted to faking an orgasm with their partner at some point, compared to just 27 percent of men.

Unlike men, women don’t get noticeable erections, nor do we experience an explosive finish, physically at least. Unless you’re performing a full-on examination during intercourse, female lubrication or labial engorgement can be difficult to detect. In porn, male co-stars are expected to produce the ever-present “money shot,” while a woman’s orgasm is signified by screams of pleasure.

But if you’re not coming, why pretend that you are? For one, up to 30% of women have orgasm deficit, which makes it (for the most part) physically impossible for them to come. For example: one common cause is the use of antidepressants and medications used to treat anxiety disorders can diminish sexual hormones in the body, which can make it harder to achieve an orgasm. However, some of those women don’t even realize they have a medical explanation for why they can’t climax, so in an effort to “seem normal,” they fake it — if not for their partner, for themselves.

But what about the rest of the women that have admitted to faking it, who don’t have an orgasm deficit. That’s a large percentage of all women who don’t have a physical block that keeps a woman from climaxing for real, but still feel compelled to put on a show of seemingly uncontrollable “omigods.” In the same study, women also reported faking an orgasm to get their partner to ejaculate quicker, because they were experiencing “boredom, fatigue, discomfort, [or] time limitations.”

At the end of the day, if you’re in a monogamous relationship, every time you fake an orgasm, you’re misinforming your partner on what actually makes you feel good. And to be honest, ‘tis better to actually have an orgasm than to fake one. Click here for tips of having a healthy sex conversation with your partner.

Stephanie Montes is a Los-Angeles based fashion, beauty and wellness writer. Her work has been featured on Elite Daily, Brides, Well + Good, Hello Giggles, The Zoe Report and more. She loves traveling, trying new beauty products, photography, and cuddling her two dogs and husband. Follow her on Instagram at @stephanie_montes.